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Oh dear. It’s election season, and a certain high-profile U.S. Presidential candidate is faced with a real quandary. Should he get bigger pockets — the better to hide them with? Or should he wave his allegedly tiny man hands for the entire world to see? After all, they say that the TV screen makes everything look bigger.
Or maybe, just maybe what The Donald really needs is a nice, big pair of work gloves. They could kill two birds with one stone: they could protect him against the jabs of candidate Marco Rubio, and then, afterward, he could wear them to help build a wall some place.
There’s a Story There
Wherever Donald Trump goes, a story is sure to follow. That’s not just modern-day news and entertainment. The blessing/curse has followed him for much of his adult life. He seems to carefully choose which brands of notoriety that he wants to keep, as one does, tossing the rest aside like an old history book. The rest, he embraces like a champion.
The Rubio insult wasn’t a new one, sadly for Trump. It’s just one that he hasn’t been able to erase. Darn that old Internet and its collection of information. The length of Trump’s fingers was actually the subject of a pointed publication called Spy magazine, which was in print from 1986 to 1998, according to Vox.
Spy had the audacity to label Trump the “Short-Fingered Vulgarian.” You know how some nicknames are just too catchy to forget… So, a new legend was born. Don’t they know that no secrets are safe on the campaign trail?
Rubio:1, Trump 0.
Gloves Could Save the Candidacy!
OK, so Trump isn’t really lacking for support. But, there is a chance that this exposure of what some might call a slight against his stature could reflect negatively on his campaign. What might really help is a great pair of gloves!
We’ve got all shapes of gloves, and loads of styles, too. A nice welding glove could go from day to night, complementing the finest Brooks Brothers suits. More important, we’ve got a wide range of sizes to fit practically any hands. Even the supposedly diminutive ones of a not-so-diminutive Presidential candidate.
But maybe Rubio has got it all wrong. Of course he suggested that miniature hands were tantamount to miniature principles and probity, a lack of trustworthiness… That sort of thing. But a probing study performed by Phillip Bump of the Washington Post says it’s all just a ruse. According to his calculations, which were admittedly non-scientific, Trump stands as tall as anyone else.
Regardless of whether The Donald’s hands are oddly short or not, one thing is for certain: with a great pair of work gloves, he’ll never have to suffer through the unfortunate foreshortening in photographs that suggest he’s anything less than an honorable, upstanding man based on the dimensions of his hands.
Whatever size and shape your hands are, Superior Glove has what you need. Your job might not be as hazardous as the campaign trail, but you can never be too careful. Remember: size doesn’t matter.
Looking for gloves that pack a punch? These 18 gauge beauties have an impressive ASTM level 3 rating for cut resistance, and provide stellar grip and dexterity.
Make Trump jealous: click the button below to request your free sample.
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Hand Injury Rates are Reduced by 60% when using the right gloves.